Your Opinions Count

I want to thank all of you who chimed in on my last post about coexistence.  I have not visited or responded, because life has gotten the better of me.  Between looking for a job and starting a top secret venture, I have just not had the time.

I apologize to you all and want you to know that I read each and every word that you wrote to me.  I was so impressed with some of the responses, I am going to post a few of them here….

LMJ @ I’VE BEEN THINKING
I cannot be in a marriage where I cannot be part of some of “his things.” He tried that on me. I said, “fine. That’s how it’s gonna be? Well, then, when you are out doing your thing at 11 am every Saturday, sex will happen here at 11 am every Saturday with or without you! And that’s my own thing!

Daffy @ BATCRAP CRAZY
It takes two. That’s marriage – the merging of two lives. Why did he ask you to marry him if he didn’t want you to be a part of his life? Would he want the type of relationship the two of you have for his own children? Your children? Or would he want better?

Laura @ Heels, Hemlines & The Modern Mom
I guess I would ask him what he is scared of with you being a part of that life. What is he scared of at work? What are his concerns? Maybe is ex wife doesn’t want you around the kids because she doesn’t know you. Maybe you just tell him you are going to invite her for coffee so you can get to know each other.
I know it is hard to feel like he isn’t sharing his life with you.
He sounds like a good man, who maybe just doesn’t understand what sharing his life really means.

dionne @ Homesick Cajun
Also with his kids it’s totally different than it was with my ex’s kids. I’m Dad’s wife not “step mom!” Not that I want to take their Mom’s place, I’d just like for us to be closer.

Erin @ The Mother Load
I think you have definitely put yourself out there–you just want to be included and feel like you matter, like you are a part of his “other” life. I don’t think that is unrealistic; in fact, I think it’s necessary in order to have a proper marriage/partnership.

Marriage is work. And it’s a garden that requires constant tending. If you neglect it, it will lie in ruins. If you wait too long, it will be too late. Carpe Diem—Sieze the Day. Grab each other, hold on tight, and promise that things will be different (and better) from this day forward.

SuziCate @ The Water Witch’s Daughter
I hope he opens his eyes and includes you in the other places in his life because marriage truly is the sharing of a life…where two become one so to speak.

Amy @ Good-Bye 20’s Hello Botox
Secrets only cause paranoia and frustration.
RR sounds like a great guy. He just needs to open up to you more in order to have a more balanced relationship with you.

Cara @ The Gone Again Smiths
I guess part of RR’s issue may be out of habit. If he and his ex lived in coexistence than he never had to share what he was doing (and if that is part of his explanation you might point out how well that worked).

These are just a sampling of the wonderful comments. I am posting them in hopes that they will help others as well. Thank you all and love you!