The noise was deafening and the crowd was loud. There was pushing and shoving as people fought their way up to the front of the already long line, waiting to get in.

Lights were flashing and music was blaring. You had to scream to be heard.

All this for some crappy food and fake animals and Rainforest Cafe in the Galleria. Remind me, to NOT go there again.

Let me set the scene….

Ricky Retardo is out of town, and during book fair, the kids got coupons for a free kid’s meal at Rainforest Cafe. FREE. F R E E. I thought…Awesome!! It is an entire evening of fun at the Galleria…one of the worlds greatest indoor shopping malls….that is the weekend’s entertainment…and the meal is FREE!

Turns out that Sassy Gal had other priorities and plans, so it was Brattitude Boy and me.

We get to the Galleria and it was like the day before Christmas. I have never seen so many people and cars in my life. 30 minutes later, when we finally got a parking space, we were inside the mall.

That is when my instincts to cut and run set in…but I promised BB, who had to…can you guess….yes, folks….MAKE A DOO DOO. Another 20 minutes later, after we have run to the bathroom, because the urge started in the car, as usual, we make our way down to the bottom level, where the food court, restaurants and ice skating rink are.

Now, I don’t like crowds. I am claustrophobic and frankly, I don’t like strange smellies in my personal space. It was the U.N. It was crazy. It was a 40 minute wait to get into this friggin restaurant.

After 20 minutes, where I was tired of chasing around a whirly dirvish, I ask the woman at the front how much longer…now the time is ONE HOUR!! Are you kidding me?? Was she punishing me asking?? I took one look at BB, who was getting hungry/cranky and said, Thanks, but no thanks.

Holding BB tightly by the hand, I wormed my way out of there and back to the car. This is our conversation in the car…

BB “I have a hypotomis.”
Me “What?”
BB “I have a hypotomis, do you wanna hear it?”
Me “A what?”
BB “HYPOTOMIS! We should never go back to Rainforest Cafe again.”

Sassy Gal’s hypotomis this weekend was that cookies taste like crap with no butter and BB’s was that the Galleria sucks.

It was a learning weekend.