- I was all about the catheter, but now I can't help but wonder if he mixes it up through-out the night. (honestly, he's got to have more than one pit-stop right?) So I'm thinking that if your kids have been naughty and you smell urine in the morning, he's peed somewhere in your house. (found you through SITS)
- My vote is for the urinal bag like the astronauts use, maybe that's not all stomach we see under that red suit Lol!
- peeing off the edge of sled for sure!
- I don't think he goes. He's magical. I'll be like the kid who doesn't think teachers go pee or to the grocery. I'm happy in my own little world :)
- These are very good points! Does he pee and how can he not pee with all the milk he drinks? Reminds me of a friend of mine reading Jonathan his favorite book at the time. "Everyone Poops." My friend was so tickled that Jonathan insisted that "Daddy doesn't poop." We got to thinking about it. My husband always disappears upstairs so in Jonathan's mind, daddy doesn't poop because he's never seen daddy poop. Unlike when mama goes to the bathroom all children have to hang outside the bathroom.
- Some things will always remain a mystery. Kind of like our parents never have or had sex because it hurts the brain to even consider that possibility.
- i believe santa is packing some serious junk and can just hang that baby over the side of the sled and let 'er rip. ;)
- Now I have never thought about Santa and his wiener. Disturbing. But I would agree with Noelle - just hang his junk over the side! Although... for those rotten little bastards that don't deserve presents, maybe that is when he takes a wiz down the chimney.
- LOL I will never look at Santa the same way again. Happy Monday love!
- I think he writes his name on the roof! And if those cookies get him a little backed up...he does number 2 and blames it on the reindeer. At least I would :O)
- First of all, "terlit" made me crack up. Second, now all I can picture is Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa. LOL
- "Does he have a catheter hooked up to his weiner?" LOL!!!!
- The answer to your question? Depends. Literally. Depends Undergarments. I'm wearing them now. I hate stopping when I'm in the middle of writing blog comments and..I...um... UNNNNGGHH... See? TIME SAVER.
- Santa has a "magic bag" for toys...and a "magic milk jug" for pee. I thought everyone knew that!
- Santa is magic and therefore he does not pee. But secondary to that, why are we Jews wondering about Santa's bodily functions?! ;-) LOL
- I believe he just whips it over the side of the sleigh. But seeing as he's Santa, he just wiggles his nose and the pee magically transforms to lemon candies. That's how they get the name....Lemon Drops.
- OMG...i am laughing because of all of these fantastic answers!
- Here I was scrolling down trying to think of a witty comment and I came to the Lemon Drop comment and sprayed coffee all over my computer! Now I am too busy cleaning up and I got nothin :) Happy Monday Lee!
- hahah! um, i have a feeling he looks like a Ken doll underneath that red suit. no need to pee.
- Hey Lee, ummmm....Santa's not real.
- He has one of those huge slurpy cups that he pees in while in the air then throws it over the side. That's what I do on my transports. As for pooping, all the mile stops him up. That's where the Ho,Ho,Ho, comes from. The pain in the belly.
- All valid questions considering all the milk he need to drink. I had to go and ask the expert before he left for the school bus...so the 7 year old in question said: "Dah, he uses people washrooms after drinking the milk
- I don't know for sure what he does. But you can bet I am scrubbing my toilet before I go to bed. Just in case.
- Bwah ha ha! Maybe since he's magical, he doesn't have to pee like us normal folk. Maybe his pee evaporates into stars and sprinkles.
- He's got to have elves with him helping out, maybe he uses a soda bottle or . . . maybe he just pee's off the side while driving?? lol
- Hahahahaha Never gave it much thought before this. I'll never think about Santa the same again. He must do *something*, but I'm sure it's all magical.
- I always wondered why on Christmas eve we were pelted with yellow rain. Dang Santa!
- Ya'll are some sick bitches up in here. Santa is MAGIC. Duh! He does some magic mojo and he doesn't have to go, when he is out delivering packages!
- Some people, you never really think of them as "Real People." Like they don't do things like the rest of us, like pee! That was a visual, I really didn't want. Now, I'm wondering, does he wash his hands!
- diapers. like that NASA chick who drove cross country to get her man (or whatever coked out drama that was) and wore a diaper to save time on the gas station bathroom front.
- Duh, He is Magical! Magical creatures do not pee...or poop.
- PS. I just read the comments AFTER I wrote my comment. So my answer has been said a few times before. I guess I should read other peoples’ comments before I leave my own…but then again…If I DID do that…I would think “Oh, someone already said what I THOUGHT was my own idea…so I will just not leave a comment now for Lee” it is a lose, lose situation. Seriously.
- Didnt you know that Santa was going green? He uses his pee to convert to fuel for the sleigh. You know sometimes the reindeer get too tired so he switches to from reindeer mode to pee mode.
- I'm thinking this particular problem is exactly why he chooses to use a fireplace instead of a door. What do you think he had to do to keep from catching on fire? MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm...?
- I can't stand the m*th@ f*ck@!! He never came to my house when I was a kid. I'm starting to think he ain't real!
- I'm along with the others who thinks he just goes off the roof of the house. Maybe he even writes his name in the snow ;-)
- Maybe he tags the houses of bad little kids writing 'Santaaa' in the snow.
- Depends, man, for sure :) Hey, quit giving my kids more questions about Santa I can't answer!
- Of course, Santa pees. He whizzes over the side of the sleigh and we look up and say, "Oh look. A light mist. Isn't that lovely..."
- LMAO! I think he just whips it over the sled and pee's!
- I'm still cracking up about "terlit!"
- LOL We say terlit too. I think when he gets the urge he just hangs it out the side of the sleigh and that's how we get acid rain.
- Astronaut diapers like that crazy astronaut lady. Of course!
- I have never even considered this question. Got me. Maybe a super power bladder comes along with the super fast travel and the popping up the chimney abilities!?!
- I think he squats in the woods along with the rest of the reindeer. And he "marks his spot" much like a dog does. I bet sometimes he even gets a good enough streamline to write, "Santa was here...." :-)
- I have never seen Santa pee, but I have seen him take a hit from a flask (we used to ride on the Police Officers float passing out candy). Holly
- I'm sure he has a magic potion that he drinks prior to takeoff! It changes his bladder into a sponge! Man, I wish I had one of those.
- I think the catheter would be the best way to get it done!
- santa is weiner-less. Everyone knows that.
- Hmmmm...one life's great mysteries. That and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. I like the Depends answer tho.
- He goes potty before he leaves the North Pole. He flies and moves fast enough to get to every home in the world, so obviously he can get back to the North Pole by the time he has to go again.
- Santa is not real; remember? oops.
- Santa is magical. He doesn't have to pee since he's not really human.
- any witty and clever answer I had went out the window once I hit the Lemon Drop answer!!!!!!!!! And with that, I must run, or half gallop to the potty since I forgot my Kotex/depends today and I can no longer hold it!
- Santa wears Depends. They are a festive red and green. (Forgive me if someone already said this. Not enough sneaky time to check all the comments.)
- Astronaut diapers? Maybe he slips in and uses the potty before he goes up the chimney?
- No, I believe in Magic and Santa does not have to pee until he gets back to the North Pole!!
- i would be more concerned that he might have to take a dump. and thank you for your comment. i am trying to chill. trying.
- Thanks for the shout out babe! I'm so glad that my potty experience inspired such a hilarious post from you! Honestly though...I pondered your question for a bit and then realized that I hate spent way too much time meditating on Santa's junk! Leigh
- Lee, I think you're on to something with that chimney theory. That's what I call multi-tasking!
- All of these comments have given me pictures that I'll never get out of my head! Very funny stuff. As for Santa's solution... I guess we'll never know.
- You effing crack me up.... I seriously almost peed my pants and im at work.. not cool lee! hahahahahaha
- Oh God! My sister and I (both Yankees) have lived in the south (me in Texas and she is still in Bama)...we make fun of terlet and tee tee all the time. :-) Do you remember Mr. Hanke the Christmass Poo (South Park, cerca 1998 or so). Heidy Ho! Seriously, maybe if you are so fat and travel so fast, it's where the coal comes from?!?
- The terlet..that's a good one. My friend here in AZ calls it a toelet. It's not normal..she's just weird like that. And as for Santa..I'll volunteer to give him that catheter, because quite frankly I think I must've been on his naughty list for like ever now...
- Maybe Santa's wearing adult diapers..
- I don't have to guess. I do Santa's wardrobe. Seriously - once I even literally sent a Santa Suit to the North Pole. Nuh uh, though - ain't going to spoil any illusions.
- I think he pees off the side of the sleigh when he high up in the sky. It evaporates before it even hits the ground. For real.
- uh....HELLO! Time stops don't you know! NO time is really passing, thus he doesn't ever actually have to go! And he is Santa. He doesn't pee....he doesn't look at dirty magazines....sheesh. Who are you?
- Anonymous said...
- Ever wonder what gives the really good eggnog that yellow tinge and... interesting taste? Well, don't think about it, really, and do your best never to find out.
- I mean... should we be asking what a fat man that climbs up and down chimneys w/ toys I can't afford does with his pee? lol I still can't figure out what the hell he gives those reindeer to make them fly and now I am worried about pee:) let me get back to you on this...ok? lol Very funny girl:) Love Tawnia
- You know, I thought it was just me that wondered about this kind of shit. LOL!!!
- How funny. Definitely not something I have ever thought about. But now that you mention it, he is magical so maybe he just uses his magic.
- He's gotta do something to put out those fires before he climbs down the chimney, right?
- He wears a magical Christmas adult diapers custom built by his elves. :-)
- My first response is a catherer..and then comes the second thought well he doesn't have to pee..he has a magical substance which allows his bladder to keep it all the time.. and then the final response..only Lee would make me thinks these things lol
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