I wasn’t going to post today, because frankly, I am just all dried up. The humor and snark seem to have disappeared the past few weeks, and I just don’t have it in me to visit, much less write.

So, instead of writing my own post, I am going to highlight some great posts that I have stumbled across, and I encourage you to visit them!

InJaynesWorld. Jayne Martin is an unapologetic, bleeding-heart liberal who loves good horses, good friends, and good wine. A TV-writer in a former life, her credits include “Big Spender” for Animal Planet,and “A Child Too Many,” “Cradle of Conspiracy” & “Deceived By Trust,” for Lifetime. Now please, click on her link and read this post…seriously…you won’t be disappointed!!

Life According to Candice. This was a post from last week, and she puts Dr. Seuss to shame. Candice is snarky and funny and irreverent. Click on her link and you’ll see what I mean.

Mother Chick. I believe this was the first post that I read from her, and it amazes me that with her wit she doesn’t have a ton of followers, so I invite you to her place, even though she doesn’t know you are coming, and go and take a peek. She is hysterical.

Theta Mom. This lady does not need my help to get traffic. She is all things grace and graciousness and she writes informative blogs, helpful blogs, mommy blogs and an occasional giveaway here and there. If you want to take your blog to a new level, read this post and search around her stratosphere, you won’t be disappointed!!

A Fabulously Good Life. Maven is not only funny, she is heartfelt and you can relate to her on so many levels. She turns flaws into humor and she is an amazing blogger. Click her, you’ll see!

So, that is all for now…I kinda like this. Pay it forward. Link it. Give out the bloggy love and ask nothing in return. No award to pass along. No link back. Just because. I think I am going to do this more often….who knows I might get into heaven yet.

I want to thank all of you who chimed in on my last post about coexistence.  I have not visited or responded, because life has gotten the better of me.  Between looking for a job and starting a top secret venture, I have just not had the time.

I apologize to you all and want you to know that I read each and every word that you wrote to me.  I was so impressed with some of the responses, I am going to post a few of them here….

LMJ @ I’VE BEEN THINKING
I cannot be in a marriage where I cannot be part of some of “his things.” He tried that on me. I said, “fine. That’s how it’s gonna be? Well, then, when you are out doing your thing at 11 am every Saturday, sex will happen here at 11 am every Saturday with or without you! And that’s my own thing!

Daffy @ BATCRAP CRAZY
It takes two. That’s marriage – the merging of two lives. Why did he ask you to marry him if he didn’t want you to be a part of his life? Would he want the type of relationship the two of you have for his own children? Your children? Or would he want better?

Laura @ Heels, Hemlines & The Modern Mom
I guess I would ask him what he is scared of with you being a part of that life. What is he scared of at work? What are his concerns? Maybe is ex wife doesn’t want you around the kids because she doesn’t know you. Maybe you just tell him you are going to invite her for coffee so you can get to know each other.
I know it is hard to feel like he isn’t sharing his life with you.
He sounds like a good man, who maybe just doesn’t understand what sharing his life really means.

dionne @ Homesick Cajun
Also with his kids it’s totally different than it was with my ex’s kids. I’m Dad’s wife not “step mom!” Not that I want to take their Mom’s place, I’d just like for us to be closer.

Erin @ The Mother Load
I think you have definitely put yourself out there–you just want to be included and feel like you matter, like you are a part of his “other” life. I don’t think that is unrealistic; in fact, I think it’s necessary in order to have a proper marriage/partnership.

I hope that you two are able to find a middle ground, and soon. I don’t want this to slip through your fingers. I have met you both, and I can tell there is much untapped potential there. You have to trust each other. You have to give 110%. You have to be VULNERABLE to each other. You have to be willing to take risks, to go the road less traveled. You need to compromise. You need to hold hands.

Marriage is work. And it’s a garden that requires constant tending. If you neglect it, it will lie in ruins. If you wait too long, it will be too late. Carpe Diem—Sieze the Day. Grab each other, hold on tight, and promise that things will be different (and better) from this day forward.

SuziCate @ The Water Witch’s Daughter
I hope he opens his eyes and includes you in the other places in his life because marriage truly is the sharing of a life…where two become one so to speak.

Amy @ Good-Bye 20’s Hello Botox
Secrets only cause paranoia and frustration.
RR sounds like a great guy. He just needs to open up to you more in order to have a more balanced relationship with you.

Cara @ The Gone Again Smiths
I guess part of RR’s issue may be out of habit. If he and his ex lived in coexistence than he never had to share what he was doing (and if that is part of his explanation you might point out how well that worked).

These are just a sampling of the wonderful comments. I am posting them in hopes that they will help others as well. Thank you all and love you!

*Warning…this is not a post to bash Ricky Retardo!  Please do not leave any comments about what a dick  he is.  If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t comment!!  Retardo, if you comment on this post, I will delete it.  If you want a forum, then I will post a reply that will come from you when you have the time to get it to me.*

I have never been lucky in love or marriage.  Just take a look at my track record, it is hardly stellar.  But, it is what it is.

I have been married to Ricky Retardo, or RR, for almost one year, and it sucks.  He is great to the kids and the kids love him.  That is not the issue.

I have been told in the past that I am impossible to please.  HE has told me that he can’t meet my expectations.   What are my expectations?  To be included in his life and to be a unit and make decisions together.  I don’t expect him to dance naked upside down while maintaining an erection and doing our taxes.  I do expect him to discuss important decisions with me before going off on his own and just making them.

You see, we have OUR life and he has HIS life.  I am not allowed in his life.  I have no contact with his children, his job, his co workers, his friends in DC.  He has bought a condo in DC that I have never seen and found out that he actually got it after he closed on it.  These things just aren’t right.

I share with him everything.  From family issues to kid issues to ex husband issues.  He is my go to guy.  I want to be his go to girl.  Are those expectations too high??  Maybe for some people, but I am not some people.

Financially, he is a diamond in the rough.  He supports me and my children, as the child support does not cover even 1/4 of their expenses.  He is also supporting his other kids in such a huge way, it is scary.  He is generous and kind when it comes to money.  But, I did not marry him for his money.

I married him for love.  My first husband I married because he was my mother’s perfect guy.  My second husband was a challenge to prove to myself that I could handle all kinds of adversity and my third husband was for love.

Is he gorgeous?  No, he’s cute.  Were the first two? Yes.  Is he stable financially?   Yes.  But so was the last one.  Is he fun? Absolutely.  In fact, I have never met anyone who is so open to just about anything.  Is he good to my kids? 100% yes.  He has wonderful qualities and then this very large bad one.

He says that in his previous marriage, and by the way, she did not train him well at all, and maybe I need to take this up with her, and I would but I am not allowed to go near her or her kids, because she doesn’t want me around, and he is too scared to stand up to her, he had what he called a “peaceful coexistence”.

I don’t quite know what that is, other than two people who just live in the same house but share nothing.

I don’t want that.  I refuse that.  I want peace, but I want to exist, not coexist.

I have a question for you all…how do you exist or do you just peacefully coexist??

The noise was deafening and the crowd was loud. There was pushing and shoving as people fought their way up to the front of the already long line, waiting to get in.

Lights were flashing and music was blaring. You had to scream to be heard.

All this for some crappy food and fake animals and Rainforest Cafe in the Galleria. Remind me, to NOT go there again.

Let me set the scene….

Ricky Retardo is out of town, and during book fair, the kids got coupons for a free kid’s meal at Rainforest Cafe. FREE. F R E E. I thought…Awesome!! It is an entire evening of fun at the Galleria…one of the worlds greatest indoor shopping malls….that is the weekend’s entertainment…and the meal is FREE!

Turns out that Sassy Gal had other priorities and plans, so it was Brattitude Boy and me.

We get to the Galleria and it was like the day before Christmas. I have never seen so many people and cars in my life. 30 minutes later, when we finally got a parking space, we were inside the mall.

That is when my instincts to cut and run set in…but I promised BB, who had to…can you guess….yes, folks….MAKE A DOO DOO. Another 20 minutes later, after we have run to the bathroom, because the urge started in the car, as usual, we make our way down to the bottom level, where the food court, restaurants and ice skating rink are.

Now, I don’t like crowds. I am claustrophobic and frankly, I don’t like strange smellies in my personal space. It was the U.N. It was crazy. It was a 40 minute wait to get into this friggin restaurant.

After 20 minutes, where I was tired of chasing around a whirly dirvish, I ask the woman at the front how much longer…now the time is ONE HOUR!! Are you kidding me?? Was she punishing me asking?? I took one look at BB, who was getting hungry/cranky and said, Thanks, but no thanks.

Holding BB tightly by the hand, I wormed my way out of there and back to the car. This is our conversation in the car…

BB “I have a hypotomis.”
Me “What?”
BB “I have a hypotomis, do you wanna hear it?”
Me “A what?”
BB “HYPOTOMIS! We should never go back to Rainforest Cafe again.”

Sassy Gal’s hypotomis this weekend was that cookies taste like crap with no butter and BB’s was that the Galleria sucks.

It was a learning weekend.

I feel like I’m doing the hokie pokie.

I’m in. I’m out. I’m in. I’m out.

Well, I’m in.

Anyway…that’s another story, that I won’t get into today.

I haven’t done much visiting and commenting and the reason why is because my computer had a worm, then my intestines had a worm and frankly, there was some drama that I just wanted to avoid and some blogballing that just had to be done.

But, something happened last night….two amazing women convinced me that I did the right thing, and so I am here.

On to business…

This is an English speaking blog. I do speak some Spanish and a tiny bit of French, but this is a blog that does not promote Eubonics. I try to type in complete sentences and try to make sense. I don’t use huge line spacing, so that you have to scroll forever to read the next line of nonsensical shit that I have to say.

Although I do not have the cleanest language in the history of blogging, I will say that I do NOT wash my mouth out with soap and never will.

Next week, I should be back to my old blogging self. I take weekends off. And, this weekend, Sassy Gal and I will be baking up a ton of cookies for her Science Fair project. Which means, another call to the fire department…oh, and Ricky Retardo is out of town this weekend…could get interesting!!

Love you all that follow and comment!

So, I haven’t been around much….my blog was eaten by a worm.  Sounds like a lamo excuse, but seriously…this was one hell of a worm.  Froze up the whole dang computer.

Well, I  squashed that sucker…or the Doc from the computer hospital did.

So, if you are an animal rights activist, or a bug activist…sorry.  But, that worm is now dead and so are my excuses.

As a blogger, you come online and carve out your little space. You make friends. You comment, they comment. You email, they email. You exchange phone numbers. You chat on the phone. You may even be lucky enough to meet at some point. They are your core group. They are your friends, your confidants and sometimes your saviors. You love them and they love you. They are your clique, the place you belong.

How does this happen? How is that you hook up with certain people. And, you may start out with one group and end up in another. And then move on to yet another until you find the group that fits you best.

Have you noticed all the cliques in the blogosphere…

There are the uber popular cliques, the techy cliques, the snarky cliques, the mommy cliques, the mommy of multiples cliques, the unable to conceive cliques, the crafty cliques, the cooking cliques, the news cliques, the political cliques, the Meme cliques…You get my drift.

It reminds me of High School, where you live with Cliquitis every single day. I was not in a popular clique in High School. If anything, I hung around the edges of many different cliques, always dancing to beat of my own drummer. I wasn’t cool, I wasn’t an athlete, I wasn’t smart, I wasn’t pretty. I was me.

Maybe that’s why blogging suits me so well. I sit behind this computer and write how I feel and can be a part of so many lives while still hanging around the edges, finding my place. I am amazed at how many people read me and the comments that I get. You think I’m funny? That amazes me. You think I’m smart? That amazes me. You think I’m talented? That amazes me.

But, it is in the blogosphere, at the age of 42 that I have found a clique.

I have a core group of blogging friends that I have been very lucky to find. The group grows and then gets smaller. People pass through and sometimes stay. They are a wonderful group. Welcoming, loving, kind and open to all kinds of people. They are loyal to a fault. They are my people, and I love them. I have found a place where I belong, and for that I am grateful.

At the end of the day, when I turn off my google reader and shut down my email, I still have that clique. I still have those friends. Blogging for me is not a past time. It is my clique. I consider my friends here real. I am a part of their lives in real time, and they are a part of my life in real time. They know when I am hurting and I know when they are hurting.

Cliquitis has been good to me in the blogosphere. And, for that reason, I keep blogging.

Why not?

This post is for Matty over at Matty Thoughts, who I love, and if you haven’t checked him out, you should. He was my first dude that followed me, and he is a love!!

I want to tell you about The Big Puma, aka Lance Berkman. For those of you that aren’t baseball fans, let me enlighten you about Mr. Berkman…

He has only played for the Houston Astros his whole professional career. I am going to give you some stats, which mean nothing to me, but might to someone who knows something about baseball, which I don’t…

* Five time All-Star (2001-02, 2004, 2006, 2008)
* 12th among active players in batting average (.303)
* 5th among active players (25th all-time) in on-base percentage (.416)
* 12th among active players (25th all-time) in slugging percentage (.561)
* 7th among active players (17th all-time) in OPS (.983)
* Led NL in doubles (55) in 2001.
* Led NL in RBI (128) in 2002.
* National League Player of the Month in May 2004 and May 2008.
* National League Player of the Week for April 21-27 and May 5-11 in 2008*
* Lance Berkman holds the National League record for most single season RBIs (136) as a switch hitter.
* Holds the record for most home runs in day games at Minute Maid Park (147).
* Holds the record for most home runs at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati for an opposing player with 20 in his career.
From Wikipedia

So this guy is a BIG DEAL…right??

Last week, at my kids school they had a guest reader every day, because it is Book Fair. Lance Berkman came to read “Casey at Bat” to the school. After he read, he took questions.

One brave little boy, who refused to wear his Astros shirt to the reading and instead wore his Cincinnati Reds shirt from TBall, stood up to ask a question….

Brattitude Boy “Mr. Berkman, what made you want to be a baseball player?”
Lance Berkman “Well, I am going to answer that question, but first I have a question for you. Why are you wearing a Cincinnati Reds Tee shirt?”
BB “I like the color red.”

Everyone laughed…and when everyone laughed, BB cracked up. I am so proud of my little guy for standing up and being so brave and asking a question…even though he was wearing his Cincinnati Reds shirt while talking to a Houston Astro.

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